Who’s Stressed?

Friday Five

Five things to do to reduce your stress:

Knit. People who knit (I’m included) swear that there are times during which we have to choose between knitting something or killing people. Knitting has saved lives. There is something beautifully zen about the repetitive movements. The tactile experience–soft yarn, smooth needles–is grounding. Seeing repetition add up to a finished project is unspeakable satisfying. Really people, learn to knit.

Kill someone. Yeah, I know. Coming after the “don’t kill, knit,” recommendation, this sounds kind of funny. But stay with me. Years ago I had a boss who could have been the template for Stupid Bosses Who Make You Stay Awake At Night Wondering How They Got Hired. She was unbelievable. I wrote her in as a character in my NaNo novel (under a different name and profession, natch) and killed her off quite satisfyingly.

Quit your job and live off the land. Everyone’s doing it these days.

Implement mind control so that everyone behaves the way you want. This could get tricky if more than one person sees this advice. I recommend you act fast and prevent anyone else from reading this. (It will most likely reduce their stress, too, since they’ll have become mind-controlled zombies, so you will have singlehandedly caused world peace. Use your powers to have them award you the Nobel Peace Prize.)

If you’ve followed these four, why do you need a fifth suggestion? You should be feeling happy and relaxed right now.


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